So Nikki was in a car accident after she left on Thursday. Some lady rear ended her going 80. It's a damn good thing Caden wasn't with her... Or even Carter, for that matter. If we were in an accident with both boys in there I think I would have gone crazy... Even if they were okay. I'm pretty sure I would have cried. Holly told me yesterday morning at work because Nikki called her saying she wouldn't be in at work until next week. I'm pretty sure I stood there a few seconds before anything came out of my mouth. That's so scary... And to think that if I hadn't talked with her those extra few minutes she wouldn't have gotten in the accident... You know? I hate when I read in to things so much... But seriously.
Anyway, I have a horribly messy room that I need to clean.
I'm loving the Christmas season so far. This time of year (well, November to December) is usually pretty bad for me... The past few years it just seemed to get bad around this time. This year things are so much better. I love feeling happy about how my life is going and about the people in my life. I love having great friends. I thought my friends were great before... But now that I've avoided hanging around people who were not good for me to be with I feel so much better. The friends I have now are great... I've met some great people through work and have reconnected with old friends. It's just great. The people I stay in contact with now are REAL friends and people I care a lot about. I've come to realize that the people I surround myself with greatly effect the way I feel. Common sense, right? Most of my friends now are older than me... And that's okay. (I've come to realize that too). People are friends for so many different reasons. Age shouldn't be something that comes between that. And, as far as I'm concerned, people who are in their 30's are NOT "old". 80 is old. 30/40 is young. I know I'm only 20, but I feel older than that... And I think that it's why I feel I "connect" (so to speak) with people who are older than me because I've experienced a lot... I like it. I'm not complaining.
Just thought I'd update you guys a bit on what's going through my head, haha.
Christmas is so close... I hope you all have a great holiday and enjoy it with everyone you love.
Despite what you may think, being assholes to people is NOT cool, and making fun of people who are depressed is NOT cool either. Yeah, so I find her annoying... No, I don't like her much... BUT SHE'S A PERSON! Have some understanding, compassion for her as a HUMAN BEING. Don't be assholes. Dammit you guys... Tonight I was SO ashamed to say you were my friends. Show her respect. Show everyone respect. People deserve that. If they are still a jerk to you, IGNORE them. Don't go out of your way to make fun of them. It's so low. She doesn't have the best life. Even if she did... Still, she's a person. No one deserves that.
I know this song is incredibly sappy... But it's one of my favourite songs. I have so many people in my life that I can turn to, which is amazing. There are a few people though who have been there no matter what though... And you know who you are (you're all amazing people and I've probably thanked you all a million times over for everything you've done)... This song totally reminds me of you guys. *Sigh* I'm such a sap.
As if. Now I'm wondering what you're thinking because you won't reply. I know what I said... But come on, give me something.
All: If you don't know what I'm talking about then it's not about you.
Today at work the day seemed to go by really fast. I swept and washed all the floors in the house, did the dishes, vacuumed, and cleaned both bathrooms. Then waited 40 minutes for the bus. I saw Curtis on the bus and we talked for a while. That was nice. It's even nicer to be at home. Nice and warm.
Is anyone getting any trick-or-treaters yet? We've had none so far. Scratch that... We just had a few. Aww, they're too cute. This little girl went "thank you for the candy lady". Aww.
So I worked 10 hours yesterday and then I went to bed around 2:30am yesterday and woke up at 5:00am to be at work for 7:00. Now I babysit Carter around 8:00. I'm dead tired. I'm looking forward to babysitting... But sleep would be so wonderful too. Although... I'd never choose that over seeing Carter (like you didn't know that).
A guy sat beside me on the bus today and told me about his sons (oldest 19, youngest a year old) and when I went to get off the bus he got all creepy. It ended with "do you have a boyfriend". So I said yes and he went "Oooh, too bad." and winked. Like, him having a son who is 19 and knowing I'm 20... And then asking that... Come on. I know I said I liked dating older people... But when they have four kids and one of them is a year younger than me... I'm not very interested. If that sounds shallow... Then, I dunno. I don't think it does.
I'm going to go pick up Carter in a little while. I think I'm going to take him to a park or something... Maybe take him to Memorial Park and let him run around there for a while, then go for a walk or take him to the Children's Museum. I can't wait. He was always so much fun to play with... But now that he's a bit older and more active... It's even better. I love it!
Then after work on Saturday I'm going to babysit him. In a way I guess I'm a bit old for babysitting... But I don't charge them (I have a job - doing a favour for a friend and watching their kid... I don't think I need to get paid for it)... And I like babysitting him. We have a great time. I'd honestly rather play with Carter than go out with friends and party on Saturday night. Call me a nerd... Haha. Not that I really party much anyway.
Hold up Hold on Don't be scared, You'll never change what's been and gone May your smile, (may your smile) Shine on, (shine on) Don't be scared, (don't be scared) Your destiny may keep you warm,
'Cause all of the stars, Have faded away Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday, Take what you need, And be on your way and Stop crying your heart out
Get up, (get up) Come on, (come on) Why you scared? (I'm not scared) You'll never change what's been and gone
Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I worked every day this week and have just been really tired. I'm off today though (sleepins are beautiful!).
I'm going to a concert thing tonight... The Newsboys or something. I've been listening to their music and they're actually really good. So, I'm looking forward to it.
Okay, so I like someone nearly 20 years older than me. Why can't I like someone my own age? I mean... Why am I just not attracted to someone my own age? ... According to Claire... "You have more in common with the types of people who have experienced life and are mature like you are." ... Oh come on. Haha. What's your take?
... Adding...
Okay, so I was going over people I've found attractive (in the entertainment industry) and they're all at least 7 years older than me. How come I never noticed this before??... And only two are guys? (For the life of me I couldn't think of any other guys).
If I could grant You one wish I'd wish you could see the way you kiss Ooh, I love watching you baby When you're driving me crazy
Ooh, I love the way you Love the way you love me There's nowhere else I'd rather be Ooh, to feel the way I Feel with your arms around me...
Hahaha... Oh children... If you need to ask this, you shouldn't know.
From "Yahoo Answers":
"HOW DO YOU HAVE PHONE SEX??? do you actually rub the phone on your genitals??? i need to know so i can explain it to the nuns at then nunery....they have been beggig me to ask you all...so i guess it is time we all find out....please tell me how it works...in detail.....thanx"
Well... It's the overnight shift at work. Can I make it?... I'm done at 8am. I'm tired already!
Did any of you hear about the new energy drink they're coming out with? It's called "Cocaine" and it's supposed to give off the same effects that cocaine does. Does anyone else find this extremely irresponsible and stupid? Honestly... Kids can buy these drinks. What kind of message are we sending them? Anyone? I'm shocked. Why, why, why? With all the problems so many people have with addictions... Why promote it? It's sickening.
Also, I've been hearing soooo many racist comments from many people lately. Horrible, awful things... "Those native people ____". I won't repeat it. There is no need to. To all you racist people out there I have two words and only two words to say to you (you're not worth any more time than that)... FUCK YOU!
I've been running around so much!! I got lots done though... And saw a few friends I hadn't seen in quite a while. I got that job by the way! I forgot to post about that. They called my references yesterday so I guess that means I'll be starting soon. I can't wait. The kids are apparently level 5 (hardest to deal with) and the pay is based on experience - so I get more than people normally do to start.
Okay I'm freeeezing cold (it's getting chilly out) and am going to go jump in the shower and start on my laundry! I'm beat!
This doesn't include people I know, trust and am friends with... If I gave you the link to my website you're more than welcome to view this.
LiveJournal stalkers...
You KNOW who you are. Have you nothing better to do? I know you read this because you QUOTE me. You really need to find something better to do with your oh-so-pathetic lives.
I've cut you from MY life because you're complete assholes and don't deserve any respect from me whatsoever... So why not do the same? Do you honest to God have nothing better to do? That in itself is quite pathetic.
I'm honestly sick of dealing with people who act like children. This will be the last time I take any of my time to have any form of communication with you at all.
Now go on continuing being total assholes about me on your MySpaces, LiveJournals, and wherever the hell else. I could care less - I don't look, so it doesn't really matter to me what you say... Just stay off of here, please.
I'm ready to break. I feel so hopeless right now. I'm dropping friends left and right... My choice, not theirs. Sure they're being complete assholes and anyone would do the same...
But it fucking kills me. And they hate me now. They're people I trusted. People I'd do anything for... And now they're shooting me down more than anyone else ever has. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Every insecurity I have is underlined, highlighted, and thrown in my face.
I know, I know, I know! I get it. I know everything wrong with me. How can you think for a second that I don't?
I'm sick of feeling this way. I just so badly want to be happy. I want to like myself. I want to see good things in myself.
I don't usually make posts like this, but I need something, someone to say something that holds some sort of logic to make me feel a bit better.
I don't care who you are, post as anonymous for all I care.
I'm hurting so fucking bad right now. Just take my mind off of this, please.
You're a good person, you're a hard worker, you're easy to talk to, easy to get along with...
You treat me with respect, you make me happy when I'm with you, you make me smile, you seem so perfect.
But I can't be doing the things you're doing... And that's why I say no. That's why I say I can't. I can't get involved in that... I'm sorry.
I don't care how much older you are than me. I don't care about age. Screw it. It's not about that, I swear.
... How I wish I could tell you why. I know you'll never read this.
I stopped letting myself think about 'you and I' when I realized it just won't work.
I hope part of you understands this without me telling you... Because it would kill me to have to tell you. I don't think poorly of you. I never have and never will.
Okay, so I just applied at MacDonald Youth Services. I have a friend who works there so hopefully having her as one of my references will look good. I finished talking to the lady who hires on the phone and then submitted my resume. I fixed up my cover letter a bit before sending it in... Man I hate writing those things. "I am ___" and saying good things about myself. Not my thing... And then I think I word everything poorly. I drive myself nuts.
Anyway, fingers crossed??
Now... To prepare for a very boring day... Anyone who's up and reads this - give me a call. We could go out for coffee or something? Come on.
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wishaway86's journal
